I Say It Is Too Early
I went to my old friend’s wedding reception today at West Mambalam. Aishwarya was a classmate in PSBB some 11 years ago. It was a grand and crazy affair. Met up with other old friends from PSBB (Mouli, Anandan and Rajesh).
Another classmate of mine was married last month and yet another will be in a few more months. I don’t particular like this trend of marrying off girls this young. What about their own lives and careers? Wouldn’t they want to do something with their lives? Now don’t say they will have careers after marriage. Our ‘culture’ will expect them to do the duties of a housewife also and eventually the strain will make them give up their jobs.
February 25th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
it depends on the husband man, if it’s one of those boorish types then the wife would end up a housewife.
even so it’s way too early for them to be getting married, i’d say the earliest should be 25-26.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:57 am
My thoughts precisely. A few of the girls who studied in my year in school, and in college are getting married now.
February 26th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
MArc, you were in PSBB ? And 11 years ago ? (5th grade or so if I am right) And people still invited you ? You must have been very different back then
February 26th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
And coming to the topic of marriage, I concur
February 26th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I doubt it, Marc would have still been crabby then. Some things never change.
Wait, she didn’t have a say in this? Surely they asked her if she was ok with getting married so soon, right? There were girls in my class in college who got married while doing the course (and even have kids now (!!)) but what suprised me was that that was they wanted!
I don’t know, Suren. This day and age, even 26 seems too young.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I have friends who are getting married within the year/next few years. They’re happy.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Karthik, perhaps you should search for the term PSBB on my blog and see what you find.
Anusha, my friend wanted to get married of course. She did study in PSBB after all. We have standards.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
@Anusha,
I am assuming you meant crappy.
@Marc,
Getting married early is nothing new. Just as everyone else here states, I had friends who got married when they were still in school. And as George puts it, they are happy. Isn’t that what matters ?
If a person wants to get married, then I guess very little can be said about it. I don’t want to go around making judgements saying its too early or anything. It’s left to the person concerned.
To steer the topic a little off course, is it even wise to get married ?
February 26th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
How does wanting to get married now mean you have standards?
February 26th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Hey, how did his comment get before mine? No, don’t worry, I meant crabby.
Come on, just because someone wants to get married now, doesn’t mean that that’s the right decision. Who the hell can decide at 22 who one would want to be with?
February 26th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Anusha, no, he meant marrying quite early is not the standard you expect from a former PSSB student. I partly blame it on the old people in the family who brainwash parents and daughters that it’s right to get married early. They even go to claim that it’s their secret of a happy married life.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Karthik, crabby is a different word.
Anusha, the standards part referred to not being forced into marriage. I said ‘we’ and I’m not getting married now. Your reasoning is off. (Arun got it right.) And you like you said, you cannot make a wise decision at this age when you’re barely out of college.
I could drop out of college without any backup plan and be happy but is that smart?
Arun, I too blame the oldies and have found myself doing so increasingly often.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
@karthik
i was one of marc’s clssmates 11 yrs back in psbb…. and he was the hero in class as far as i remember… quickets runner, top scorer when it came to subjects and to top it all,this guy could draw with both his hands… thats something rajesh brought up in discussion eleven yrs later!!
February 28th, 2008 at 7:25 am
# Anusha Says:
February 26th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
How does wanting to get married now mean you have standards?
^^^ ha ha love that! go gurl!
February 28th, 2008 at 11:02 am
The standards was about not being forced into it/the person having a say in it.
@Marc,
Yes, I like crappy better.
@China,
He’s changed since
February 28th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
china, thanks for the support. However I don’t remember doing that well in exams except for English maybe. Dharini and Hemamalini were unbeatable.
sindhu, Anusha misunderstood what I said as Arun, Karthik and I have pointed out.
Karthik, you didn’t know crabby was a word, did you?
February 28th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Woah, who’s China? Marc, you really loved PSBB, didn’t you?
Enough with the standards bit, if this girl really wanted to get married now, end of the day it still is her choice. All I’m saying is, how could anyone be really sure at this age now, if they really do want to get married or not?
February 28th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
How is age related to being sure ? I won’t be sure 20 years down the line. In fact the older you get, the more difficult it is to make decisions
(Not that I endorse child marriage. You could include a clause of if age > 18)
The same can be sid about driving Licence. Why wait till 18 ? Well if you can drive when you are 10, you should be allowed to I guess. (They are allowed on racing circuits)
And, end of the day, sounds like Kapil Dev.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Really, I don’t know about you people but there are women I know who would be happy to be married, and some are more anti-establishment than anyone else I know.
It isn’t always a ‘brainwashing’ thing.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Yeah, but 20 years down the line, it’ll be reasonable. If you marry the wrong person then and regret it, no one’s going to blame you for making a mistake. You were an adult when you took that decision. At 20, if you decide to and get married, it’s a pretty big risk.
Hey, I say “end of the day” all the time!!
February 29th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Kapil Dev, I liked PSBB yeah. SJBN was horrible.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
@Anusha,
You are saying it is alright to make mistakes when you are older and even regret it. As for others blaming us for making a mistake, does that really matter ?
Look at the positive of getting married early. You marry and then you realise you made a mistake. Shit!! Now you apply for divorce (the Indian courts will anyway take close to 20 years to settle the case.) Then 20 years down the line you marry again. And it’ll be reasonable.
Kapil Dev used Rapidex tapes to learn english the night before the world cup finals.
Among the other things he learnt, “End of the day” is one and one that he uses all the time. (Well, don’t blame me for being factually exact here. It’s a bit of fact mixed with fiction.)
March 1st, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@anusha
i was marc’s classmate in psbb.. actually i stayed longer there till my 10th after which i moved over… but i guess you wudn know me coz i was nt someone callin the shots thr!!
and about aishu gettin married, she had informed me befor it was a prob with horoscopes… all i wanna ask her is “did u chk the horoscopes when u fell in love with him??”
March 1st, 2008 at 3:16 pm
China, don’t be so modest. How would she know you even if you were calling the shots there?
Anyway, you da man now!
Horoscopes… another horrible Indian idea that makes no sense.
March 1st, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Horrorscopes
March 3rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Karthik, I suppose we all come back to the elementary question. Do we even need to get married? What do you say, Marc?
I hate cricket and anything to do with it.
China, Marc’s right, I wouldn’t have known you even if you were calling the shots. I wasn’t in PSBB.
Haha, horoscopes are funny!
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Anusha, tl;dr.
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Marc, I don’t speak that language.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Tres longue; Je n’ai pas lu
is what he said.
Besides who the hell was the “Do we need to get married?” addressed to? I mean to whom were you getting married? And why are you reconsidering?
March 4th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Anusha, you should have just looked it up.
Oh by the way, she’s getting married to some French guy there.
March 4th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
George, the ‘do we need to get married?’ was general, more of a way to question the need to get married at all.
Marc, I told you not to tell anyone that!
March 5th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Anusha, the truth gets out sooner or later. Technically you told me you won’t care even if I told people.
March 5th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Marc, I’m not French and I’m not getting married to any French guy here. Capish?
March 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Your vehement denial makes me suspicious.
March 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Je m’en fiche.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:02 am
All right, that confirms Marc’s suspicions.
March 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
huh? you’re in a form?
March 7th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
That’s what it means? Oh.
March 7th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Nuts. Je m’en fiche means that I don’t care.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Suren, LOL.
Anusha, you don’t care you’re in a form?
March 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Gee, Marc, you’re trying to be funny.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
And have succeeded.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Crap, you did say “Do we need to get married, what do you think Marc?” or something like that. If you were reconsidering, I just wanted to tell you to go ahead. So long as you have non-vegetarian food, I like non-vegetarian food. I assumed I’d be invited, of course.
Besides I always thought it was ‘capisce’, but the Mafia don’t bother with your spelling, or for that matter your gramma, eh? It’s you they want.
March 12th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
People think they’re cool and all and go ‘capish’ and ‘chow’. It’s just painful to read.
March 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
What’s wrong with chow? People say chow down.
Err, no thanks George.
March 12th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
It’s wrong when they actually mean ‘ciao’!
March 13th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Marc, it’s what girls use generously these days. Capish is tolerable, you know when compared to ‘toodles’.
March 13th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Haha! People write chow for ciao?
Sheesh, who says ‘toodles’ anymore?
March 13th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Nothing is tolerable when it is wrong.
March 13th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I didn’t even notice the wrong spelling there.
Anyway, here’s what Wiki has to say:
alterrnative spellings:
capice, capicé, capiche, capeesh, capisch, capishe, coppish
If It were me making that mistake, I’d claim it was a typo. (I am sure it wasn’t though
)
Chow,
and Marc, you owe me some bugs.
March 13th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
stop complaining marc, it’s a proper noun, you can spell it any way you want.
March 13th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
it is ? thats news to me
March 13th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Marc, what are you going to do about it?
Karthik, I knew it as capish, and thus use it that way.
Suren, it’s not a proper noun.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Mark is a proper noun though. You can spell it any which way you want.
P.S: Still waiting for my bugs.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Sufoolishren, who told you proper nouns (or any word for that matter) could be spelt however you pleased?
Anusha, I’m going to make fun of people. That’s what I’m going to do about it.
Karthik, you didn’t remind me about the insects on the bus. Hence you don’t get them.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
So Suren, ‘Marc’ can be spelled as ‘Mark’, right?
March 13th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
The point with spelling proper nouns the way you want is this - you spell a Mark as Mark and a Marc as Marc. If someone pleases to be called marque , then you call him that. You don’t call a Marc a Marque (or maybe a morgue
) or anything else. Cat piss ?
March 14th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
It is a common misconception/excuse that names can be spelt in many ways. People claim this when they misspell something and want to save face.
March 14th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
What good will that do, Marc??
March 14th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
@Marc,
It is not misconception at all. Whosever name it is, that person has a say in it.Same applies for organisations as well. Especially so in non-English speaking countries. How can you decide how a Hindi/Tamil name with its varied vowels and consonants be spelt ?
March 15th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
What good will it do? Save face! I said as much.
Karthik, it is a misconception. Try arguing your logic in the passport office.
March 17th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Anusha, I’m going to make fun of people. That’s what I’m going to do about it.
What good will THAT do, Marc?
March 17th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
You are saying my name cannot be Karthick or Karthi (both equally annoying and used equally on my certificates) on my passport if I choose it to be ? Jesus, have you heard of that -ology where people name themselves Krazy stuff ?
Ok, quick question. Is Kapoor right or Kapur ?
March 17th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Kapoor sounds better.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
@Anusha,
The question was for Marc. Sorry if I wasn’t clear.
And it was simply to demonstrate that the same name can have different spellings. Something Marc thinks the passport office doesn’t allow.
(Like they have a list with all possible names.)
March 17th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Anusha, it makes me happy and it might humiliate them enough to start spelling it right.
Karthik, you can chose whatever spelling for your name once. That’s it. After that you cannot keep changing it. So there is one and only spelling for it.
The passport office example is to show that they won’t let you spell your name however you want. You have to use the spelling that is on other official documentation like your birth certificate. These are obvious things.
March 18th, 2008 at 10:53 am
@Marc,
Whoever told you that ? I can get my name changed in my passport how many ever times I want to. (As long as it’s for reasonable reasons. Otherwise, they might doubt if you are mentally sane.) See, the thing with democracy is, you can do as you please.
They will let me spell my name however I want it spelt as long as I have been spelling it that way consistently.Even otherwise, there are channels through which you can get your spelling changed.
And stop randomly using BOLD face. AND FYI, MOST BIRTH CERTIFICATES DONT HAVE A NAME. THEY DONT NAME YOU WHEN YOU ARE BORN. :p
March 18th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Your stand seems to be varying with every comment. (ref. post 58) (with the unsaid being assumed as obvious)
My stand all along has been, you can name yourself what you want and other people are supposed to spell it the way you want it. Still a misconception ?
March 18th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
why are you both arguing over something you agree on?
marc spells his name as M A R C and wants people to use it that way.
March 18th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I was named before I was born.
March 18th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Karthik, you cannot change your name on your passport unless you have changed it officially and registered the change. They will not accept the change simply because you have decided you like some other spelling better and you show up at the passport office.
There is only one spelling. You can name yourself whatever you want and when it is official you cannot change the spelling anymore. So there is only one spelling for a name.
You are Karthik right now. Not Karthi or Karthick or any of the variations unless you change your name officially. Try using some other spelling of your name on a cheque and see what happens.
Getting other people to spell it in a different way is like a nickname and is unofficial.
When you do what you please it is called anarchy, not democracy.
March 18th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Only if I am in power. And I am not. So it’s not anarchy at all. Nor am I imposing my will on other people. It’s my name for heavens sake.
And yes, you have to take the official route to change your name. (Not read as can’t be changed) Whatever gave you the idea you can change it at whim ?
Bottom line: There is only one spelling for a name you choose at any point in time. However, you are free to choose another name at another point in time, or another person is free to choose another name at the same point in time.
So, same name , different spellings. Yes, Possible.
March 18th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
@Anusha,
How could you have been named before you were born ?
They could have chosen a name yes. Technically though, they can’t have named you before you were born. You weren’t there, see.
So, either you can be named when you are born or afterwards. And most people are named afterwards. (Or atleast that’s what I think. I could be wrong of course.)
March 18th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Suren,
RE: Comment on Proper Noun
Lots joy. Funniness is much. Agree.
George.
March 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
i know it’s not a proper noun and i am also aware you can’t spell proper nouns any way you want. it was supposed to be a joke. brother egroeg, your acumen regarding humour is truly worthy of a splothikin.
the foetus is legally recognized at the third trimester so, technically, you can be named before you are born.
March 19th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Karthik, you really don’t know how the world works, do you? Birth certificates always have the name of the child on it. How else would you identify someone?
So now you are saying that name changes are possible but it is considered as different spelling for one name. Convoluted thinking.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
My parents knew I was a girl before I was born and named me. Marc’s right, birth certificates have the name of the child on it.
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
The way I see it is, Marc and Mark are different names. The name is determined explicitly by its spelling; how the hell did you people conclude that the same name can have different spellings? That makes no sense whatsoever.
OT:Once upon a time I thought trimester was the equivalent of semester, except for three terms. Lucky I never used the word. Imagine that! “I’m in my third trimester in school.”
March 23rd, 2008 at 12:11 am
We didn’t say that. Karthik did!