‘Arranged Marriage’ - Going Against Nature
Arranged marriage. This prehistoric practice followed by uncivilised tribals in backward societies is the norm in India. How did something so unnatural and contrary to human nature become tradition in this country?
It is natural for people to fall in love with other people and get married. Our bodies are built that way. Arranging for two strangers to get married is just going against human nature!
The main reason this shit happens is because Indian society is based upon keeping men and women apart. Interaction between the sexes is actively discouraged at every level from school through work. Even adults socialising in public are looked upon with suspicious and derision. This creates a society of socially challenged people who have trouble interacting with the opposite sex. Even if they do gain some social skills and hook up they are hounded by the cops and their own parents. What kind of fucked up society is this?
An arranged marriage gives these socially inept people a security blanket. All manner of dull people with no redeeming qualities whatsoever can be assured of finding an equally dull person to get married to. Men don’t have to treat women well or wine and dine them to win their affection. They can just be boorish louts and can relax in the knowledge that their parents will find some unlucky female to be their servant in the name of marriage for the rest of their lives.
In addition, they can demand a dowry from the girl’s parents and live comfortably off that money while the parents struggle to pay the debt. Women, being trapped in a patriarchal backward society have no say in anything and are forced to go along with their parents, enduring life as a lifelong servant at the house of their so-called husband.
This is Indian society. All hail.
Some people believe marriage is sacred. A middle aged woman on a debate show (’Neeya Naana’ - Vijay TV) was arguing that men and women should not get to know each other before their marriage since it spoils the sanctity of marriage. Too bad I couldn’t meet her in person to tell her this: You dumb bitch, marriage is not a holy rite. It is a rite that is conducted with the blessings of the Holy. If you don’t understand this, you have failed in life and I beseech you to ensure that we never meet in real life.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Exactly! Its going against Nature!!!
September 15th, 2008 at 10:27 am
“Men don’t have to treat women well or wine and dine them to win their affection. They can just be boorish louts and can relax in the knowledge that their parents will find some unlucky female to be their servant in the name of marriage for the rest of their lives.”
- I agree with this line totally. Any guy who expects a dowry is not worth a wife.
September 16th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Nice one Marc…. This is one of the thing that I don’t like in India. Parents are thinking in way that in case of marriages, we should behave their words and we should not go against it. But my point is this is my life, I am going to live with her in future for more than 50 or 60 years. So I should have all the rights to take any decision in marriage matters. Why these people are not giving the full rights to us too choose our respective partners? This is really too bad and a stupid thing too….. But it it’s really happy to see some love marriages here too.. Within this month I attended so far 2 to 3 love marriage functions. I think that things are some what changing here. Hoping the same result in my life too….
September 16th, 2008 at 7:24 am
I object to the discrimination. Why should I wine and dine her to win her affection? Is this a way to make up to the womankind for the dowry era?
September 16th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Balances the patriarchal society we live in.
Return the dowry.
September 16th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Hello there. Am commenting from work
They have lousy IE here. Am pretending to do some assignment here.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Like Sex, Love is also a taboo in India
September 17th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Who should return the dowry to whom? What does ‘return the dowry’ mean?
Arun, umm, to show her that she’s important to you?
September 17th, 2008 at 1:00 am
I don’t know about Georgeworld, but in real life people return things to whomever they got it from. Otherwise it wouldn’t be called ‘return’.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:26 am
“Within this month I attended so far 2 to 3 love marriage functions. I think that things are some what changing here”
Siva I bet you that only the bride and bridegroom would be happy for the union and not the parents in anyway, coz they would have accepted their love affair under children compulsion. only very few families accept it.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:11 am
No no, he said ‘dowry era’ implying that the dowry was taken at some time in the past. If so, who is the dowry returned to? The children, don’t they inherit it anyway? The descendants of the original family?
September 17th, 2008 at 7:14 am
@ George
Oh, I got it. I make her feel important so that I can make her wine and dine me the rest of my life. Yes, yes, very tempting.
September 18th, 2008 at 1:25 am
George, you cannot atone for past sins. The line is forever cursed.
Arun, how selfish.
September 18th, 2008 at 2:01 am
I’m sure someone in everyone’s past paid a bride price or a dowry at some time. I don’t want to be cursed!
September 28th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Yeah man, I’m fucking cursed.
September 29th, 2008 at 3:46 am
Looks that way. Try outside the country.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Another problem is caste, My mom keeps saying me that you gotta marry a girl only from our caste (Nadar) and religion. Parents accept the love if the girl or boy is from the same religion and caste, so they aint against love, they are against caste and religion of love, they don’t realise that love doesn’t have any caste or religion. Waiting for the day when caste will get eliminated from our society. Caste is truly a curse!
Hate caste system, this fucking column appears in most of the application forms.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Caste is another problem, My mom keeps saying me that I must marry a girl from our caste (Nadar) and religion. Parents are not against love. They are against caste and religion of love, but they dont realise that love doesn’t have any caste or religion.
Another problem is relatives. Even if parents accept love, they fear what the relatives might speak. Cuz these ppl cook a lot of stories that spreads in no time like forest fire. So, their esteem gets affected, so they reject love. Only a few parents overcome all these, cause of their strong will power and accept love marriage.
Hope this caste system gets eliminated soon!
October 15th, 2008 at 1:43 am
It’s interesting how some marriages are classified as ‘love marriages’-as though being in love with your partner isn’t the norm!
Everything you say about the whole arranged marriage system is true; but it’s also dishearteningly clear that it won’t change, thanks to one too many blind attachments to tradition and customs from history. Not to mention the unhealthy obsession with the caste system…..I think it’s got a lot to do with a lack of adventurous spirit; a fear of veering off of a tried and tested formula-or so it seems.
(Great blog you’ve got here, by the way, Marc. Been a visitor for a bit now but never got around to commenting.)
Cheers
October 18th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Sorry about the late replies. Forgot about this post.
Ram, completely agree. This society is seriously messed up.
Anu, do comment more if you see something interesting. And yes, arranged marriages are a safe bet for most people. They are too cowardly or socially inept to find love and hence settle for marrying strangers.