. : : Valar Morghulis : : .

Haapanavar

I call the Bajaj service station.

Me: Hello, when can I come get my bike?
Supervisor: Sir, you come in haapanavar.
Me: Hello. What?
Supervisor: Haapanavar sir, come in haapanavar.
Me: Oh. Okay I’ll come in half an hour.

Mile Sur… Ennavo Indhila Solranga Pa

Remember that old ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’ (I don’t know what it means nor do I care) that we were forced to listen to on Doordarshan over and over again without knowing what the hell it was until we got some real television channels and could remove DD from the channels list? Well, for the 60th Republic Day they remade the whole thing.

Read Krish Ashok’s review of it here: Mile Sur Mera Tomorrow? Fail

Yes, It’s Because Of My Tonsils

Today I met this friend of a friend who was totally surprised when I said I was from [place]. “You don’t have the [place] accent”, he said gesturing at his throat.

I wanted to tell him “Yes, you’re right. I had throat surgery to have my accent removed.” Instead I did the Apu accent and asked if that was preferable expecting him to laugh at it but the guy didn’t quite get it. I suspect he knew people who actually spoke like that! :O

The Story of Stuff

Watch this great video about how we are being brainwashed into shopping more and more for things that we don’t really need and how products are designed to become obsolete to encourage further purchases.

http://www.storyofstuff.com

Ra Ra Rasputin!

Boney M – Rasputin

Such an awesome song and video. Ah the ’70s… such a wonderful time.

Look up Boney M on Wikipedia. It should be interesting.

Also: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/The-70s-REBELS-/articleshow/5109980.cms

Cooties

Women here seem to have no qualms about sitting next to men in public transport or even squeezing in with them in overcrowded shareautos. It’s a welcome surprise after living in the south where people are totally paranoid about making physical contact with the opposite sex.

Indian SWAT?!

Found this photo in the newspaper with the following caption:

Members of the Special Weapons and Tactics team at Red Fort during the Independence Day celebrations on Saturday.

Um, India has SWAT teams? I guess they probably have just this one seven-man team for the entire country.

RIP MJ

See this.

Yes, he had extensive plastic surgery. No, he did not recolour his skin. It really was a skin disease.

Now leave the poor chap alone.

Dealing With Indians

One of the few great things about living on the campus here is that you can tell off all the assholes that infest the place. Today a guy was testing out deodorants in the supermarket, right next to a board that warned that none of the cans were to be used for testing. I pointed out this fact to him loudly, gesturing at the sign. The asshole mumbled “I know…” and moved off (only to repeat the same thing a few minutes later and get scolded by a store employee this time). The point is, he had to take the insult and fuck off or he’d have to deal with the HR department the next day*.

Similarly there are other assholes that play music on their cellphones inside the classroom with no regard for other people occupying the place. I can insult them all I want without regard for what they’ll think or do and they have no choice but to take the abuse, having violated an explicit rule**. Same goes for morons using the drinking water glasses for coffee/tea, walking around the campus with tinny music blaring from their cellphones, cutting queues, passing food tokens to people they know further up the line… the list goes on.

*If he starts to argue I can simply take down his name and send HR a nice email about him and they’ll take care of him.
**The rule is: “Don’t play your fucking music in the fucking classroom, you fucktard.” Only in more polite terms.

We Accept All Major Lies

I found this in a magazine at work.

untouched by recession

The Happiness Capital of India

Gujarat 2002